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Experimenting with poetic form - MG: LITERATURE&LIFE

About Experimenting with poetic form

Previous Entry Experimenting with poetic form May. 9th, 2007 @ 09:06 am Next Entry
Suzanne Brooke asked me to comment on her Ekphrastic poem .... I took one of her stanzas and worked on shaping it visually and physically.
Here is her stanza (check it out in context on April 28th: http://maryhope.livejournal.com/):

Staring left and right
Wondering which is better

To stay in the past
Or
To embrace the future

Here is my reworking..... the question is does shape add meaning???? What do you think> TRIPLE CLICK TO SEE THE TEXT IN FULL SIZE:
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From:maryhope
Date:May 8th, 2007 11:22 pm (UTC)
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hi michael
i was busy trying to put in colours and to change some of the form when i came back to reality i found even more creativity -- i really like the way you have put staring and the use of bold to create even more meaning to the poem... if it is not asking too much could you have a look at my attempt before i change any more... i feel like a kid in a candy store finding so many delights and wanting to choose them all... i hope this does not seem greedy to you..i will stop rambling and thankyou once again for your insight....
cheers Sue
From:rebeccaisgrove
Date:May 9th, 2007 12:58 am (UTC)
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i like the way the 'in the past' goes backward while the 'to embrace the future' goes forward. the italics on 'the future' are good too.

i'm not sure if i already said this but look
at my hypertext thing if you get a chance. there's a few things i want to change about it but it took soooo long i think i'll leave it for now.
r.

From:rdocko
Date:May 9th, 2007 01:25 am (UTC)

experimenting with poetic form

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I definately think there is so much to say about poetry forms - whether to go with this much formating or to know the importance and difference a comma, colon, semi-colin, hyphen or full stop makes to the beat and rhythm of a poem - its quite extraordinary! I love messing around with this kind of stuff, but if I may highlight to people new to this (as many of us are) not to loose the sight or feeling of the words in the poem to make it look good.

I really like what Michael has done with your poem, Suzanne! I really enjoyed the content of it too - its going to strike a cord with alot of us considering we're all in the same boat. University is a time in everyone's life where they are learning the new ways of doing things to change our lives forever. We're all faced with the same question of "Which is better/to stay in the past or to embrace the future". Every single one of us is faced with this problem in one way or another. It doesn't matter if you are just out of school, been out of school for a while, mature age or even a lecturer. So many things pop up in life that manipulated what we are to do next!

Congratulations on your work, I really enjoyed it and I'll be looking for some more on LJ which I hope will be coming soon!
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From:davidnorris
Date:May 9th, 2007 01:37 am (UTC)

cool poem

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i like this simple message, the answer seems obvious and inevitable at first, but on second glance (perhaps to the left) i agree that it is so easy to live in the past and neglect the onset of developing.

Poetry is a visual media and you capitalise this notion so well. I think poetry is the highest form of art.
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From:w8n4jc
Date:May 9th, 2007 05:39 am (UTC)
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That us so cool!!!

I love the way the past moves backwards the opposite way to how we read English, and I love that Future moves forward. 'To Stay' is in the middle and spaced out as though its comfotrable where it is & 'Or' remains the option that has moved a little forward but is not daring enough to keep going forward, it alsomost looks like it can turn back.

Thats extremely creative. I think I have to give that a go ;o)
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From:w8n4jc
Date:May 9th, 2007 05:40 am (UTC)
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Quick correction to my post, I do think US poets are cool but I was trying to say "That IS so cool".

Have a great one...
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From:michaelgriffith
Date:May 9th, 2007 06:14 am (UTC)
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Thanks for the comment- I hope you do give it a go... it is not hard at all... let me know when you have tried and I will give you some feedback
MG
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From:w8n4jc
Date:May 17th, 2007 01:05 am (UTC)
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Hi Michael,

I finally made some time to give it a go. The entry is for May 15th, 2007. I called it 'words with umph'. Your critique would be great.

http://w8n4jc.livejournal.com

Cheers,
Arbella.
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From:sweetpea68
Date:May 18th, 2007 12:27 am (UTC)

Staring!

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I think you poem is great Sue, and how Michael has added his artistic touch really does make it meaningful. Life is full of choices and so many different paths to choose, so, how it is spread out and placed on the page is very significant I think because it seems to take you in all different directions and it does(Life I mean). And at some stage there is a focal point that you are drawn to, that sometimes we cannot explain and that you may not even think possible!! How did i ever live without the comma, question mark, exclamtion mark in my life, i just seemed to see the full stop, maybe because there have been so many.
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From:michaelgriffith
Date:May 18th, 2007 12:39 am (UTC)

Re: Staring!

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Great supportive comment sweetpea68!.... that is one of the best things about LiveJournal... it allows a group to take a comment or an idea and keep exploring and expanding it. Thank you: your comments really add a new dimension and even link in to what we have been discussing about puncutuation in "Wit" today.... well done sweetpea68!!!!!!
MG
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